I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize