If i could tip my vagina, i would.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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