his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
