so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
