redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
