After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize