the new term for farting is butt boxing.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
