ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you had me at cake vodka
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
