how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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