I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
