they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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