At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
