just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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