he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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