My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
