just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
