I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
