dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
