I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
