I just made out with a guy for $7.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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