hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
you made out with another girl for some wings
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
