i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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