Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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