You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
