im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
