her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
