the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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