Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
