I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
