belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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