I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Two words: blizzard sex
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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