Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Buhtt sex?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
