I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize