mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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