Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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