So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
