we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize