Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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