Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I need to stop coming to work sober
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize