we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
