Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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