Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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