drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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