yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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