Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just pee around me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
