I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize