he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
