If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
