you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
