When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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