i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize