He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
