he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
