she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
