Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
