Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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