still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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