I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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