This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
