just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We left the knife in your bed.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
