I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize