everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
