Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
