I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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