have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
