Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
