Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
