some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
