I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
