the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
