She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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